Premier League Sum Up : Football seasons across the world look to be in tatters.

By Football Tripper

Last Updated: April 2, 2020

West Ham supporters inside the stadium


General Advice – Stay at home. Listen to the advice we’re being given and STAY AT HOME. No ‘Ifs’. No ‘Buts’. No ‘It doesn’t apply to me’. We can all help if we want to.

Football seasons across the world look to be in tatters.

Although it pains us at Football Tripper to see football being cancelled, it’s categorically the right thing to do. When you’ve got emergency services across the world heroically fighting a hidden and deadly enemy, football should be the last thing on the agenda…

So firstly we’d like to express our utmost admiration for those fighting Covid-19. And, in no way trivialise the crisis, we’d like to provide a little bit of light reading for those trying to escape the current state of the world by asking the question: How would the Premier League season have finished?

Best & worst player

The two awards both came from the red side of Manchester.

The player transforming United’s fortune and thus securing the coveted 4th place spot? The Portuguese magnifico, Bruno Fernandes. He silenced Pep at Old Tafford, and amazingly went onto become the PL 19/20 top assister after only signing midseason.

The player left picking up the pieces. None other than Paul Pogba. During the remainder of the season, it became clear he wasn’t recovering from surgery, merely attempting to orchestrate a big money move to Real Madrid. Things quickly turned sour, and manager Ole told Pogba to stay home and play online bingo games whilst everything blew over… Nobody minded much with Bruno tearing it up.

Premier league top three?

No brainer. 1) Man City 2) Liverpool 3) Leicester

This is the story of Liverpool completing the greatest footballing capitulation of all time. A fateful letter written by a 10 year old Man United fan saw Liverpool record their first PL defeat of the season to Watford. Then they were knocked out of the FA Cup by Chelsea. The salt in the wounds? Atl Madrid drawing final blood in ET of their Champions League Last 16 bout with The Reds.

And here’s where my prediction comes in… With 9 games remaining, Liverpool lose to City leaving them very unnerved. Then staggeringly they lose to Brighton and Burnley. What an amazing rabona volley that was from Chris Wood?!?

Last game of the season, step forward Newcastle. Liverpool face defeat after witnessing star Virgil van Dijk produce a stunning bicycle kicking into his own net. But wait, there’s news from the Etihad… City are trailing 2-1 to the Canaries… It’s the 90th minute… Liverpool fans can’t believe their luck. This is it! Destiny…

Destiny indeed. Step forward Sergiooo Aggggueerrooooooooo. A brace in ET see’s Liverpool fans in pieces, and the title staying in the blue side Manchester.

Bottom three

This was a truly distressing time for Norwich. Cue my prediction…

After mounting a stunning 4 game winning streak, the Canaries found themselves in 17th, sending West Ham 18th with one game remaining. Below them both, doomed to relegation, were Aston Villa & Bournemouth. For you Liverpool fans, despite losing the title, you managed to sign Grealish as a result of Villa’s relegation.

Did West Ham go down? Pahhhhh of course not. Don’t forget they won the World Cup in ‘66. No team of this calibre was going to be relegated. [Disclaimer: all reports of yours truly being a Hammers fan are unsubstantiated…] As mentioned, the Canaries saw a victory against City being taken away from them by Aguero. West Ham happily skipped over them, making short work of Villa at home with a 7-2 drilling. Oh it was beautiful… I’ve never seen an atmosphere like it at the London Stadium… #MagicScenes

The real heros

So there you have it. A quick round up of how the 2019/20 Premier League Season would have finished.

But I want to give a last mention to the real heroes. Here in the UK the NHS & other emergency services have been working tirelessly to keep us all safe. Putting themselves at risk for the general public to fight this indiscriminating virus. And I know across the world other health services are doing the same.

What can we do? Stay at home. Listen to the advice we’re being given and STAY AT HOME. No ‘Ifs’. No ‘Buts’. No ‘It doesn’t apply to me’. We can all help if we want to.

And that’s all we can do at Football Tripper, and although it’s never the same, we’re watching football game reruns. Random fixtures we can’t remember. Can you remember the result of West Ham – Leeds on 10-Nov-02? Comment below. I’ve just checked against what I thought it was, and think the Internet is unfortunately broken… West Ham won god damn it! We had Di Canio!?!?!!?

By Football Tripper

Last Updated: April 2, 2020